Bad Jokes

Wood Harrelson

Compositor: Não Disponível

The blind man's seein' eye dog
Pissed on the blind man's shoe
The blind man said, here, rover--
Here's a piece of beef for you

His wife said, don't reward him
You can't just let that pass!
The blind man said
I gotta find his mouth, so I can kick him in the ass

Bad jokes, lord, I love 'em
Bad jokes, can't get enough of 'em
Ooh-ooh-ooh-wee, bad jokes for me

You got one, dusty?
I got one
Let's hear it

When God created woman
He gave her not two breasts, but three
When the middle one got in the way
God performed surgery

Woman stood before him
With the middle breast in hand
Said, what do we do with the useless boob?
And God created man

Bad jokes, lord, I love 'em
Bad jokes, can't get enough of 'em
Ooh-ooh-ooh-wee, bad jokes for me

Gramps turned eighty the other day
And everybody was there
He was dressed up in a brand-new suit
Sittin' in his big arm chair

When a beautiful, young, naked woman
Stood up in front of the group
She offered gramps some super sex—
So he said, I'll take the soup!

Bad jokes, lord, I love 'em
Bad jokes, can't get enough of 'em
Ooh-ooh-ooh-wee, bad jokes for me

You ready for another one?
Yeah, lay it on me

Olie went to the neighborhood dance
And he won the big door prize
Was a toilet brush, and he took it home
And the next week, one of the guys
Said, olie, how's that toilet brush?
The one you won from the neighbors
Olie said, oh, it works pretty good
But I prefer toilet paper

Bad jokes, lord, I love 'em
Bad jokes, can't get enough of 'em
Ooh-ooh-ooh-wee, bad jokes for me

Farmer had a champion bull
Bred him two hundred times a year
The farmer's wife said, two hundred times?
Isn't that wonderful, dear?

Maybe you oughta watch him
Maybe he'll show you how
Farmer said, he's a heck of a bull
But it wasn't all with the same cow

Come on, now

Bad jokes, lord, I love 'em
Bad jokes, can't get enough of 'em
Ooh-ooh-ooh-wee, bad jokes for me

You got another one, dusty?
Actually, I do, did you hear about the viagra shipment that got stolen?
No, who'd they think did it?
Well, they don't know, but they're on the lookout for hardened criminals

You got another one?
I got another one, lefty

Sven said to his friend, oh, I think my wife died
His friend said, well, what do you mean, ‘you think'?
Well, the sex is still the same, but the dishes are stacking up

Hey, dusty?
Yeah, lefty
Did you know díarrhea was hereditary?
No, I didn't
Yeah, it runs in your jeans

Hey, uh, lefty
Go ahead
Why do they call it P, M, S,?
P, M, S,? Why, I don't know, why?
'Cause mad cow was already taken

Hey, dusty
Yeah, lefty?
What do you get when you cross holy water with castor oil?
I don't know, lefty, what do you get?
A religious movement

Hey, uh, hey, lefty, what did the elephant say to the naked man?
What'd he say?
It's cute, but can you really breathe through that thing?

Come on!

Bad jokes, lord, I love 'em
Bad jokes, can't get enough of 'em
Ooh-ooh-ooh-wee, bad jokes for me

Bad jokes, man, I love 'em
Bad jokes, can't get enough of 'em
Ooh-ooh-ooh-wee, bad, whoo!
Jokes for me!